Leave the Monster at Work

We guys know what it’s really like – working with men that think a sentence is six f’s and a vowel.  During one crazy week I expended more effort talking with my crew’s parole officers, investigating cops, and insurance agents just so I could keep enough workers on the project.  The pleasantries at home rarely made appearances on the job site and on many occasions’ men rebutted my ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ with the six f’s opting to leave out the vowel.   I was proud that being exposed to this daily dose of foul, lewd and crude language did not influence me to do the same.  I liked to think that somehow I had come out of it unscathed and had let my light shine with an impact that would illuminate for many years to come.  Recently, something happened at home that put a light on the fact that I had indeed been affected, but pride had blinded me in seeing it.

My wife approached me asking why I was being mean to her and the kids.  My response was “I’m not mean.  You do not know what mean is.  If only you knew what the real world was like.” I started thinking and praying about what she said and realized days later that I had unknowingly let the ‘beast’ into my home.  Oh, I let him in alright and my pride had opened the door.  It was easy to see the beast out in the field, because of his loud fiery talk.  But I had unwittingly overlooked the fact that even though I had removed his mouth, the beast’s body had come home with me.

I was right that my family did not know what real meanness was, as it was practiced out in the world, but I was wrong to think that they should experience even a lighter dose of it in order to understand me.  I had allowed myself to lower my standards for how I communicated, justifying my conduct because it was still much kinder than what was practiced at work.  My job was to love and protect my family and by bringing home habits picked up at work, I was doing neither poorly.

In a way, this is a wake-up call for me.  It is a reminder that even though I had used ear protection to protect from picking up the verbal garbage of the world, I had neglected to guard myself from the silent monsters.  Just like the worker that dons the hazmat suit to protect himself from threats unseen, I needed to put on my protective suit to ensure that none of the beast comes home.